Resilience Rewritten: Enhancing Parental Mana for Lasting Change

Family Start is a home-visiting programme that focuses on improving children's growth and health, learning and relationships, family circumstances, environment and safety.

Through our work, parents and caregivers gain a renewed sense of control, understanding that that they have the power to create positive, lasting change for their tamariki. We work to enhance their mana, building confidence to set boundaries, and foster resilience.

Maddie was 18 years old when life took an unexpected turn. In her final year of high school, her father passed away and soon after, she found herself pregnant. Despite the challenging circumstances, Maddie felt excited when she saw the positive pregnancy test. She knew in her heart this was the path she was meant to be on. Leaving school to work full-time, Maddie balanced pregnancy with the realities of life. Her baby boy was born four weeks early, and while Maddie felt a strong connection to him from the start, she quickly realised she needed support, especially with breastfeeding.

Maddie was referred to Anglican Family Care’s Family Start Programme by a Dunedin Wellbeing Youth Support Service. Her baby was just six weeks old when Bushie, her Family Start Whānau Worker first met. Maddie’s confidence in her ability to breastfeed had taken a hit, even though she had initially felt like she had a solution.

Her mother was supportive, but Maddie felt she needed more – someone with expertise, who could offer reassurance and guidance.

Through regular visits, Bushie became a trusted source of support for Maddie. Whether it was information on her baby’s development, sharing learning resources and ways to play with her son or simply the affirmation that she was doing a great job as a young mum, Bushie’s presence helped Maddie regain her confidence. Bushie guided Maddie in understanding her baby’s cues, that his behaviour was a form of communication and shared information regarding typical milestones – for example, realistic expectations for language and identity development.

Maddie also took part in the Circle of Security (CoS) parenting course, which she did alongside her son’s father – recognising the importance of them having the same information and foundation from which they co-parent their son regardless of their own relationship separation.

The course deepened their co-parenting relationship, ensuring they both had the same understanding of how to raise their son and awareness of concepts such as secure attachment, meeting needs and ‘Shark Music.’ In doing CoS, Maddie learned to interpret her son’s typical toddler behaviour and felt more confident that she can meet his needs.

“I think I was already doing a lot of that stuff, Circle of Security meant I was better able to notice that there are a lot of things I’m doing that are right. Learning about Shark Music helped me remind myself that, for example, when he wouldn’t sleep at night-time he’s not giving me a tough time on purpose, he’s going through a tough time and I can be there with him to help him through that.”

In addition to parenting, Maddie made significant strides in her personal life. She recently received a promotion at work, and the new position has allowed her to work around her son’s father’s schedule. She also set a goal to ask for a pay rise and was proud when she successfully achieved it.

With the support of her Whānau Worker, she has also worked towards other milestones, like getting her learner’s driver’s license, which in the future will make her more independent and less reliant on public transport and her partner for accessing other services.

Recognising the importance of good mental health, Bushie worked alongside Maddie, and sought support through Anglican Family Care’s Dunedin Counselling Service. A free service that has been available for parents and caregivers, who need support to restore their wellbeing and strengthen relationships within their whānau.

Bushie explains that seeking the right support for her mental health had been a goal for a long time for Maddie but waiting until the time was right was critical for her to be able to trust the process and feel sufficiently confident in meeting Mel Taylor, Counsellor for the first time. Maddie has found counselling with Mel to be extremely useful in helping her make sense of things she has experienced.

We asked Maddie what her parenting journey would be like without the support of Family Start, she told us. “I would be much less confident in my parenting. The programme has helped me find my voice as a young mum and helped me to trust my instincts.”

The encouragement from Bushie has helped Maddie embrace her choices and despite the challenges, she is very capable of raising her son in a way that nurtures his development, with strong secure attachment.

Today, Maddie is thriving, both as a mother of a 2-year-old and as an individual. She has learned to balance work, co-parenting and personal goals while fostering a safe, loving environment for her whānau. Family Start has given her the tools and reassurance to navigate the complexities of motherhood, and Maddie is now more confident and optimistic about her future with her son.

*Client names and images have been changed to protect privacy

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